“How to deal with Mom-stress,” Melinda asked? She was so honest, more honest than I had ever been about feeling stress. “I have been stressed out for many, many years, probably 15 years by now although no one would know. I carry it all on the inside.” She continued that covering up the stressful feelings was wearing her out, depleting her energy. She admitted that she had grown somber. But now, today, she took a stand. “I will not be ruled by stress anymore!”
I explained that stress and that sense of being overwhelmed will never completely disappear when you are a mom because of all the opportunities to feel worried, not having control, guilt, sadness or feeling not up to the task. However, there are real ways to deal with them.
First, I asked her this: What is stress?
Stress is the feeling of being overwhelmed or unable to cope with mental or emotional pressures.
Any type of challenge or change can cause this physical, emotional, or psychological strain.
And then we went to the opposite of stress.
I asked if she agreed that peace of mind feels like the opposite of stress; if this feeling in the body is comparable to ‘safe or protected.’ Is it a state of mental and emotional quietness or calm, free of worries, and fears? For me, I added, when my mind is quiet, I experience a gentle sense of happiness, freedom, or peacefulness.
And the question was: “Did Melinda want to seriously develop ‘peace of mind’ as the antidote to stress? Make it bigger than the stress?
“Yes, but,” Melinda asked, “How do I choose peace of mind in the middle of stress or being overwhelmed? How do I make peace of mind happen when I feel I have lost it?”
Sometimes we need time to focus so we can gain more awareness and implement our newfound knowledge. That is why homework exists. Melinda’s homework for the week was this:
1. She had to find the mental thought(s) that caused her to worry and write them down.
2. She had to find a way to stop worrying thoughts.
3. She had to identify the negative emotional feelings that brought her down.
4. And then ask herself: “What feelings can I focus on instead?”
We both agreed that it is easier to nurture peace of mind before the ‘shit hits the fan.’
And, that it is easier to return to a calm mind when you are familiar with what feels like ‘peace of mind.’
The advantage of returning time and time again to feeling ‘peace of mind’ is, that she would have enough energy to find solutions to the problems at hand.
5. The last part of the homework is that Melinda needed to slow down a bit. It is not easy to identify thoughts and feelings while running at full speed. There has to be some time to sift through feelings and thoughts and reflect on how to best stop the unwanted ones.
Do you want to know what overwhelming and draining thoughts Melinda needed to avoid so she could stay ahead of her stress and overwhelm?
Click here to learn about the 3 thought patterns that cause Moms of school-age kids unwanted stress
PS: Are you interested in ‘How to go from stress to having a family filled with happiness and laughter? Then you are interested in a 7-key Course! Mooniek, the Parent empowerment coach is committed to talking to as many Moms and Dads as possible so that they can be supported in creating a wonderful family. Sign up today and start the course tomorrow with Mooniek as your facilitator. Information here!
PPS: And if you want to talk to Mooniek to get more information, click on this link to find a day that works for you.