What Does It Mean to Be an Empowered Mom?
Perhaps being a great parent begins with the focus on leading yourself.
You always wanted to be a good mom. Actually, a great mom? Me too!
But what does great really mean?
It's not so easy to explain. To me, it's more of a feeling, a vision of the kind of mother I want to be.
Loving. Curious. Nurturing. And interesting 🙂
A mother who builds a mutually respectful relationship with her daughter. The kind of relationship I wish I had experienced with my own mom.
A relationship in which my child is free to become herself, rather than feeling responsible for filling a need or a void within me.
Now, just because I want to be a great mom doesn't mean I always am one! I'm far from perfect. I readily admit it. I get impatient. Irritated. Sometimes I say things I wish I hadn't.
But here's the difference. I know what kind of mother I want to be. My North Star. I have an intention. A vision.
And when I fall off the horse, I can get back on because I know where I'm heading. That knowledge alone gives me a wonderful sense of being an empowered leaderess!
But what does empowerment actually mean?
The first time I heard the word empowered, I was taken aback. It sounded rather negative to me. I associated power with controlling, dominating, or suppressing others. And that certainly wasn't the kind of mother I wanted to be.
But over time, my understanding changed.
Being empowered isn't about having power over someone else. It's about developing the ability to lead myself. To become aware of myself: thoughts, feelings, reactions, and intentions. To recognize when irritation is building. To recognize what's happening inside me as frustration or overwhelm begins to build. And to realize that those feelings don't have to determine what I do next.
I don't have to act on every emotion. I can feel irritated without yelling. I can feel frustrated without lashing out. I can disagree without becoming disrespectful. And when I don't get it right, I can acknowledge what happened, repair the relationship with myself, and choose again.
That gives me more room to be the loving, interested, curious mother I want to be.
Not because I've become more loving. But because I have chosen to more intentional.
And to me, that is empowerment.
Not controlling my daughter. Not controlling every circumstance. But developing the inner capacity to choose how I want to show up.
What kind of parent do you want to be?
Perhaps the most empowering thing we can do as parents is to become clear about our own intentions.
Not what others think a great parent should be. But what matters to us, ourselves. To me. To you.
How do we want our children to experience us? What kind of relationship do we want to build with them? And why?
And who do we need to become, to help make that possible? Year after Year.
Because being an empowered parent isn't about having power over your child. It's about leading yourself so your child gets the chance to learn and lead themselves next to you.
And that, to me, is a wonderful definition of a great mom.
Or dad! I am not forgetting the dads here, nor their sons.
Amen.
Ready to develop your own intentional leadership for at home, in your family?
The Intentional Parent Blueprint™ helps working parents strengthen self-leadership, emotional intelligence, and communication so they can build the relationships they envision with their children.
Connect with Mooniek Seebregts for an exploratory conversation.